So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
