So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I believe in your delicious
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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