All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
