is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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