how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
