Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
