Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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