he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
