So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
