I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
