worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
