First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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