The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
