Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
50% drunk capacity currently
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
