So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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