she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
