Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
