it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
