help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
