Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
