I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
