Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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