I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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