you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
