This is not my ceiling
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
