OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
