well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Its about making memories worth repressing
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
