I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
