1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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