I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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