dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
