There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
