Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
