That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
