dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
