I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
