We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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