Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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