You just made me feel so damn special
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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