mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
