he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
