are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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