If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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