She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
