so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
