It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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