You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
