so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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