Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
