shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
