Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I lost the right to judge tonight
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
