Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
