Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
